Jakes Horror-ific Halloween Guide

By Jake Cordiner (@jjjjaketh)

HEY HOWDY HEY DUDES AND DUDETTES! Jake here with the last Halloween piece of 2017 pauses for crowd sympathy. This has been a wild ride, and it’s been fun as hell. So let’s get going – I’m going to give you ideas for your Halloween movie marathons! And imma kick things off with…


Just as an aside, I’m not going to go super in-depth with the descriptions of any of these choices for the sake of brevity, so sorry! ANYWHO

5: Cloverfield

This is in my top 3 films of all time. It’s brilliant. A smashing big sea monster wakes up and attacks New York. That’s all you need to know. Not necessarily a horror film which is why it’s at number 5 but I’d feel remiss if I didn’t mention it so…

4: The Taking of Deborah Logan

Caught this on a whim on Netflix and thought it was bloody cracking. Starts off as your standard possession film but goes buck wild as it progresses.

3: Paranormal Activity

The film you can blame for the wave of really shitty modern found footage films. When this was released, however, it was as big a deal as The Blair Witch Project. Incredibly effective and constantly creepy. Just avoid the sequels.

2: Blair Witch


1: REC

This wee Spanish-Language zombie flick is a total doozie. It all takes place in a block of flats and it’s entirely fucked up. Just watch it.

SNACK: i’m going to try and recommend a humorous snack for each of these sup categories so for found footage…



5: Slither

A small town in the US is attacked by mad wee parasitic slug aliens in James Gunn’s 2006 horror comedy. It’s very good.

4: Jason X

There has to be a wee bit of cheese throughout this article and here’s a slab of prime stilton. Jason Voorhees… in space… killing folk. What’s not to love?

3: Alien

Hell yeah, baby, the granddaddy of Modern Sci-Fi! Alien is still almost perfect like… 40 years after it’s release? An astonishing piece of work from oor Ridley. I’m sure almost everyone who will read this has seen it before but if for some reason you haven’t, do yourself a bloody favour.

2: The Thing

I can hear you all now… “he’s put Alien 3rd and The Thing 2nd…? But… But they’re the best!” I’m buzzing for you to see number 1 lemme tell ya. The Thing is a stone cold (PUNS!) classic, and the less known about it going in the better. An alien attacks a remote research base in Antarctica. That’s all that needs to be said.

1: Event Horizon

HELL YES BABY! This film is balls to the wall nuts and I fucking adore it. The plot doesn’t even matter, it’s just pure nuttiness happening on a spaceship and you should WATCH IT

SNACK: for the sci-fi genre, might I recommend some mixed Milky Way confectionary? a crispy roll perhaps? or some magic stars? and a wee mars bar as a pallet cleanser. To be served on a.. sniggers a wee SAUCER!


5: Literally Any Saw Film

The only good Saw film is Saw 1. The rest are varying levels of laughably bad. But if you’re a gorehound like me watching the Saw series is a no-brainer (MORE PUNS!).

4: Literally any Hostel film

Read the above entry but replace the word Saw with the word Hostel. Some of you may call this lazy journalism, I call it energy conservation.

3: Men Behind The Sun

I saw this on YouTube about 6 years ago and it’s one of the most mental films ever. It’s about Japanese war experiments and, in some places, it’s shitting vile.

2: A Serbian Film

Ah, this old chestnut. One of only two films to ever make me actually vomit (you’ll know EXACTLY what scene I’m talking about when/if you watch it) this 2010 film tells the tale of a retired porn star who takes one more job to keep his family afloat. This job ends up being FUCKED THE FUCK UP.

1: Dead Alive (or Braindead)

One of Peter Jackson’s first feature films, this is a hilariously disgusting zombie feature that includes one of my favourite scenes in cinema history (lawnmower). It’s stupid, but it’s knowingly stupid so it doesn’t get annoying.

SNACK: like a smashing big fucking pile of raw meat? fuck knows, knock yourselves out.


5: The Host

A wonderfully shot Korean sea monster film, you’ve probably seen the films opening scene in every “best horror scenes” youtube compilation ever.

4: Krampus

More a Christmas film this but I’m giving it a wee nod anyway. Krampus is the evil Santa who kills your family if you’ve been bad. Make sure you see the actually good Krampus film starring Adam Scott and Champ from Anchorman and not the shite ones that they always release around Christmas.

3: Shin Godzilla

2016’s Shin Godzilla is balls to the wall mad. It ends up being more about how the Japanese government deals with the effects of Godzilla rather than just a film about Godzilla going mental but it works and it absolutely should not. This was one of my favourite films of last year so give it a shot!

2: The Fly (1986)

This could have been in the sci-fi list as well but I don’t want to mention the same films twice (which is why Cloverfield isn’t in this list as well). The Fly is a terribly sad film about a man who does a wee experiment on a fly that goes horrifically wrong. Also, Jeff Goldblum is in it and he’s the best actor ever.

1: The Descent

This is such a good fucking film god damn it. Cave exploration GONE WILD 2017 XXX. Is all I’ll say.

SNACK: Monster Much, obviously.

Oh yes, baby a motherfucking curveball.

5: Amnesia: The Dark Descent

If you’re at all into gaming, you’ve heard of this. You can’t fight your enemies, you have to run away, which makes exploring this victorian-era castle all the more unnerving.

4: Outlast 2

This game got way under my skin when I played it earlier this year. Using only your camera, you must traverse through a Christian cult’s compound in the remote mountains of the US of A. You will shit yourself.

3: Silent Hill 2

I shouldn’t have to explain what this game/series is all about so y’know what? I won’t. Just bloody hurry up and play it. Trust me, it’s very, VERY good.

2: Resident Evil… SEVEN

The latest installment in the Resident Evil franchise is tied with Resi 4 as the best in the series for me. Resi 7 is way scarier though. One of the only games where i’ve had to pause and have a wee break in between sections. You explore the Baker house as Ethan Winters, looking for your wife Mia. Then bad things happen.

1: Dead Space 2

I just replayed this, so I may have a slight bias to it but I genuinely think this game is almost perfect. As Isaac Clarke, you wake up in a psychiatric ward in the wake of another necromorph outbreak. As you learn more about why you were in the ward in the first place, the puzzle pieces start falling into order and you realise you may have had more to do with the outbreak than you thought…

SNACKS: millionaire shortbread because it’s nice 🙂



5: Freddy vs Jason

An absolutely wonderfully shitty cheesefest, the two kings of the slasher genre face off to see who’s better at killing mentally deficient teens. It’s a worldy of a film.

4: You’re Next

This could also fall into the category of home invasion films. You’re Next is about a big family getting taken out one by one by psychos wearing big animal masks. It’s better than I’ve made it sound, trust me.

3: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

It’s shocking how well this film has stood the test of time, it’s still fucking disgusting FORTY THREE YEARS after it’s initial release. Well worth a watch or a rewatch for just how dirty and horrible it makes you feel. It’s obviously about a man in Texas that insights a massacre using a chainsaw. Duh.

2: The Cabin in the Woods

Kind of bending my own rules here but THERE ARE SLASHER ELEMENTS IN THIS FILM! I love this motion picture. It’s funny and scary in equal measure. Go in as blind as you possibly can and you will be rewarded with one of the smartest horror films ever made.

1: Scream

Hell yeah my dudes I love Scream to the moon and back. I said all I really have to say about this genuine masterpiece in my top 10 horror films piece (that’s right, i’m not above shameless self promotion) so see that if you want to know my full thoughts on this wee classic.

SNACKS: make cupcakes with wee marzipan eyes on the top. Woah spooky!

and for your last list…


5: It

2017’s It is an utter joy of a film. Every performance is brilliant, every scare lands perfectly but above all else it’s gutbustingly funny. This is a break out performance from Stranger Things star Finn Wolfhard (such a fucking rad name) but everyone in the cast gets their time to shine.

4: Cohesion

This is an awkward one to talk about. If you only go in blind with one of the films i’ve talked about in this article, please make sure it’s this one. I cannot say anything more about this film than something strange happens at a dinner party and that it’s honestly incredible.

3: Raw

A coming of age story wrapped around someone’s uncooked leg. This is part Clueless part Cannibal Holocaust and it is ALL AMAZING baby.

2: The VVitch

This film is about a witch that terrorises a family in 1500s New England and it is truly terrifying without relying at all on jump scares. So good.


Horror has been so good recently that i’d feel bad not mentioning these so HERE GOES;

The Void
The Conjuring 1 & 2
Insidious 1 & 2
Ouija 2
The Babadook
It Follows
Kill List
Evil Dead
Under the Shadow
Gerald’s Game
Train To Busan
Green Room

and your number one modern horror film IS…

1: Get Out

Jordan Peele is a genius. This is a ludicrously smart film about the way POC’s are still be treated in modern day society. It’s hilarious in one moment and hideously uncomfortable in the next, and that’s why it’s my favourite modern horror film.

SNACKS: hmm… Soylent because it’s modern!


There’s your lot! I want to thank Liam for letting me write about horror films for the past month. I love you my guy. If you want any further recommendations from me for some reason, you can find me on twitter here: @jjjjaketh. Peace out fuckers. x

Top Corner! Five Fantastic FIFA Tracks

By Callum Thornhill (@Cal_Thornhill)

There is no secrecy or mystery between the linking of football and music. The terraces are constantly changing iconic lyrics with the names of their nippy winger or slating the opposition with “____ are falling apart, again” to the tune of Joy Division‘s Love Will Tear Us Apart. One connection between the two industries is closer to home and often overlooked by passive gamers – the Fifa, originally Fifa Football, franchise is constantly churning out a quality soundtrack year after year to millions of players around the globe.

With hundreds of tracks being on the Fifa jukeboxes over the past two decades it is impossible to make a solid, fairly ranked list of the best, but here I look at what I call the golden tunes EA Sports have included over the years since Blur’s Song 2 hit us in 1998 like a Steven Gerrard worldie.

Before revealing the list below, there are a few that could easily have been added including:

Flogging Molly – To Youth (My Sweet Roisin Dubh), Bloc Party – Helicopter, The Strokes – Machu Pichu, and Caesars – Jerk It Out.

5) Morrissey – Irish Blood, English Heart [FIFA 2005]

Okay. So, in my opinion, Morrissey’s solo stuff isn’t THAT great, but this tune soundtracked endless hours of rinsing the PlayStation 2 version of Fifa Football 2005 while I was winning various titles with Ajax. Nestled amongst a brilliant soundtrack (more of which are on this top five list), Fifa may be to blame why I am a Smiths-loving loser…just maybe.

4) The Sounds – Seven Days a Week [Fifa 2005]

Another gem here, The Sounds, who I still know absolutely nothing about except they are a Swedish outfit, have old-school Blondie vibes and an abundance of sass. Seven Days is easy listening and was always allowed to be played through fully rather than hitting the R3 button to skip. The Sounds have made it to endless Spotify playlists I’ve made in the past and thanks to Fifa I actually have a vague idea of who they are.

3) The National – The System Only Dreams in Total Darkness [Fifa 2018]

A modern great in the form of The National. Needing absolutely no introduction at all, they are a band who have only excelled themselves time and time again and even though I don’t own this edition of Fifa, it is heartwarming to know that anyone who (stupidly) hasn’t discovered the band themselves will be introduced to some ambient brilliance.

2) Foals – Olympic Airways [Fifa 2009]

Oxford’s math rock maestros have featured on Fifa soundtracks a couple of times, but it is Olympic Airways that makes the list. Added pretty much at the same time as their debut, Antidotes, dropped. Foals, like the Fifa series, have been a constant companion to my life for a long time now and to see the two combine is fantastic.

1) The Streets – Fit But You Know It [Fifa 2005]

THE tune that got me into music. As a football-loving eight-year-old, who thought it’d be such a stressful life at that age, I didn’t really understand the whole blue Topshop top or being a 9 and a half in four beers time, but knew the lyrics off by heart. It took a fair bit of convincing but I managed to get A Grand Don’t Come For Free on CD that Christmas and had to play it through headphones because of the parental advisory sticker. In short, I have to thank EA Sports and Fifa for effectively making me the person I am today.

Do you agree with the list of Fifa soundtrack greats? Let us know on the usual social media places with your favourites.

Game Review: Crash Bandicoot N.Sane Trilogy (PS4)

By Adam Ouakli (@AdamOuakli)

Being a 90’s kid, if I were to list the top 3 things that I wanted in life to satisfy my need for nostalgia from a bygone era, it would look a little something like this:

1) Pokemon being real

2) Oasis reforming

3) Crash Bandicoot re-mastered

With number 1 probably being a more realistic expectation that number 2, it’s safe to rule them both out. That leaves us with number 3 on my list: Crash Bandicoot practically raised me. Since I got my first PlayStation at the age of 5, I’ve been playing the orange marsupial’s games – hell, I even used to have dreams that I was scaling the Native Fortress as a kid. It’s a game that, for me, has stood the test of time, a classic that will go down in history as one of the best trilogies every produced.

So it’s safe to say that the recent remastering of these three games, aptly titled the N.Sane Trilogy, was a very much anticipated event in the gaming sphere. They’ve had a total HD makeover and it truly shows: starting from the beginning, washing up on N. Sanity Beach again after all these years was special. I didn’t move forward in the level, I just sat for a few minutes taking it all in. It was beautiful. It is how I always dreamed a re-master of the game would look like – full of vibrant colours, amazing visuals, animations and detail like a modern cartoon and it blew me away.

Advancing in the level I noticed that even though the music has a fresher, clearer sound, it is still the basic original sound we know and love. The animations look and feel just like they should and Aku Aku, well, his “Wooga booga” had me emotional. The sound of breaking boxes, of collecting Wumpa Fruit, of jumping on a tortoise – everything is pretty much perfect. Naughty Dog who originally developed the Crash Bandicoot games in the 90s were not involved in making the re-masters, leaving the task to Vicarious Visions to bring Crash Bandicoot back into our lives, and they’ve done the originals and Naughty Dog proud.

All three games play very much like they used to as it’s a re-master not a re-haul. Personally I think this is how it should be; if too much was changed it wouldn’t feel like a proper Crash game. So far I’ve played through an awful lot of all three games and I’m absolutely loving it. I have seen countless people on social media complaining about how hard the game is, which confuses me a little. Yes, the game is tricky at times (Don’t get me started on levels like ‘Road to Nowhere’ and ‘The High Road’) but the majority of games out there will have tricky parts in them. If a game isn’t challenging it gets pretty boring pretty fast. I even read one review where the critic wrote that “the 3D throws off your depth perception” and that “the colourful designs on levels like ‘Hang ‘em High’ trick you into thinking there’s space to land on trampolines when there isn’t.” These are pretty petty complaints: the only substantial one that holds any real weight is the change in physics for Crash 1 which makes certain levels a bit more difficult than they should be.

Nine times out of ten, though, the game requires some precision and timing – when you don’t succeed at landing jumps, that’s not the game’s fault. Having completed these games before I was 10 years old, in addition to the fact that not much of the gameplay has changed from its original release, it’s odd for people to compare this to Dark Souls in terms of difficulty. Some people are either just bad at the game or have forgotten that there are several tricky levels and have lost a lot of patience now that they’re older. There have been some comments calling the game ‘monotonous’ and ‘only good for nostalgia’: well pal, if you think the game is boring then why did you buy a re-mastered version of the very same game? The games are extremely refreshing even two decades after their initial release which says a lot.

Related image

Despite the fact that a lot has remained very similar to originals, there are a few changes that are mostly welcomed. As well as a refined saving system, something that the original Crash game was sorely missing, and online leader-boards, players are now given the chance to play as our titular hero’s laptop wielding sister Coco. While she plays exactly like her big brother, it’s a nice addition which helps the trilogy to feel like you’re playing a more improved version of the game you played years and years ago.

One thing that must be said about this trilogy is that if you’re buying it solely for that nostalgia factor, you’ll be more than stuffed. However, newcomers may feel like these feelings for a bygone genre will wear off quickly, leaving them £35 lighter and with no real urge to fully complete the games. They’re arguably limited in content though with the time trials and gems, some of which are attached with some challenges, but others may feel like the campaigns are too short: altogether I’d say it only took a few days to complete all three titles. As I’ve mentioned though, this is only an issue for those who don’t intend on getting all they can out of this game: for those that do and want to get 100% (or more *hint* *hint*) then there’s more than enough to get your money’s worth.

Overall, this trilogy has next to no shortcomings, at least ones that didn’t also come along back with the games during their original release. Criticisms regarding clipping and such are overblown considering how rare an occurrence of this could be with the only real negative these games bring being the controls being not quite as fine tuned or polished as the beautiful visuals and sound design. Every minute of these three games I’ve enjoyed thoroughly and while they aren’t perfect, enough has been done to recreate these games as perfectly as possible.

The only other criticism I have: I’m now left with the urge for a remastering of Crash Team Racing. Please Vicarious Visions, do this and I can die a happy, happy man.






Is Crash Bandicoot Really That Difficult?

By Liam Menzies (@blnkclyr

We may be a little while away from actual time travel but this past Friday, we got the next best thing. After nearly a decade without gaming’s favourite orange spinning marsupial, Vicarious Visions released a HD Remake of the original Naughty Dog developed Crash Bandicoot trilogy – not to spoil our review that’ll be dropping in the next few days but it’s a faithful recreation that manages to instil a great sense of joy and nostalgia, even to those who haven’t previously played the quintessential PS1 titles.

However, we’re not here to chat about how much we’ve enjoyed the comeback of Crash, Coco and co. No, instead we’re here to chat about a specific story that seems to have been gaining a lot of traction over the past few days regarding the challenge the game offers. Here’s a few tweets to paint the picture: 

As soon as I saw this narrative that other gamers were trying to push, I rolled my eyes faster than the wumpa fruit icon. We are living in a time of challenging games after going through a period of hand-holding, difficult to die games (that are still around sadly), such as Dark Souls, Bloodborne, Binding of Isaac and much, much more. While Crash Bandicoot has a fresh lick of paint and other new goodies attached, it’s still very much a product of its time and isn’t a game to be included amongst the aforementioned titles.

A quick history lesson for those unacquainted with consoles before the PS2: analogue sticks weren’t always a thing. It wasn’t until around a third of the way into the PS1’s lifespan that analogue control was incorporated, allowing for all titles after to benefit from a greater level of dexterity and accuracy. Sadly, this meant that most early titles such as the original Crash were at a bit of a disadvantage despite the fact they were made solely with directional buttons in mind. The game is pretty easy for the first half, with only the latter portion providing a lot of challenge, some of which came from some cheap trial and error gameplay as well as the controls just not being up to scratch.

Crash Bandicoot is back...fur realz.

Naughty Dog were aware of these issues though and when it came to the sequels, Cortex Strikes Back and Warped, the controls were improved significantly with not only the analogue sticks helping out but a new bunch of skills at your disposal. Whether intentional or not, this meant that a great deal of challenge was alleviated from the games with most difficult stages requiring just a small amount of patience to be able to beat: after all, a lot of younger players managed to beat the game 100% so it wasn’t a Goliath sized feat.

Sadly, this outrage over difficulty seems to be unaware of this and it’s hard to pinpoint why. It would be naive to assume these people aren’t good at games, considering one of those outraged has managed to beat some Soulsborne games, but it may be the case that they aren’t good at these type of games.

They may have played it when they were younger but chances are, bar these early steps in the platforming genre in their early days, they haven’t returned to similar games since. The past few generations have been heavily reliant on gritty FPS shooters and action packed third person titles, which has allowed a remake like Crash to feel so refreshing more than 2 decades after its release. With this in mind, as well as many of these gamers being adults with full time jobs and growing up around a culture of speed-running and social network connected trophy hunting, that small amount of patience required to complete the challenges these games throw at you may have disappeared entirely.

Image result for n=sane trilogy

That’s not to say there’s not any challenge to be found in these games at all: Slippery Climb is a level that stole many a life from me in my early days and the time trials that are included in all three games will have you etching the layouts for each world into your mind. However, most of the criticisms I’ve seen revolving around challenge seem to be coming from levels which are, to put it lightly, simple – ones like the very first level of Crash Bandicoot which offers very little in the way of genuine difficulty, bar maybe the split path which requires you to hop on every box in order to get a gem.

Overall, the main point of this ramble isn’t simply to say “I’m better than you”, rather to show gamers trying to find difficulty where it simply isn’t. If anything, it’s a relief to see so much discussion surrounding an era gone-by and hopefully with this remake seemingly being a success, future titles in the Crash franchise could offer more of a challenge. Regardless, if you’ve made it this far and take one thing away from this rant, it’s this: just have a little patience.





Game Review: PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds

By Sanjeev Mann (@Ask_Sanjeevs )

Traversing across a field, making my way to the next zone with 40 people remaining, I knew something was going down. The circle was coming in by the second and I could hear bullets in every direction. With our group receiving an abundance of casualties, it was only myself and another teammate left to fend for ourselves. The bullets were coming closer and closer. Out of nowhere I was hit, but I had no clue where it came from. I frantically spun my camera in every direction possible and there it was, a muzzle flash from the roof of a nearby building: they were onto us.

Stuck in the open with only a corn field and a couple of trees for cover, panicking, I prone to increase health with bandages. My mate was languishing in a tree somewhere behind me barking out the directions of the bullets and laying down some suppression fire. My hands were sweating at this point, just waiting for my head to be blown off via a Kar98 sniper. It didn’t happen, but the waiting was terrifying to say the least.

This is exactly what you’ll get from the minute you land on the island of Player Unknowns Battlegrounds. Incredibly, the game is still in early access, which means it’s effectively incomplete, and is developed by the man that brought the battle royal mod for ARMA 3, Brendan Greene.

For those of you that aren’t aware, Battlegrounds is battle royale style shooter where players parachute onto a massive island with one objective: survive. Once players land, they must scavenge buildings on the island for a variety of different weapons that range from SMGs to Assault Rifles, Snipers, or even a cooking pan to swing in someone’s face!  

You also need to get a hold of bags to carry bandages, first aid, and weapon parts. The key to success is most definitely loot and, most importantly, gun attachments such as scopes and extended mags. This will make your life a whole lot easier and gives you a much needed upper hand on opponents – this set up will no doubt be familiar to those who are fans of games such as H1Z1 or PC blockbuster ARMA 3.

Image result for battlegrounds

Not only do you need to contend with 99 other players in solos, but also a circle which shrinks the play zone every few minutes, and being caught outside of the ‘circle’ results in receiving health damage – think Battle Royale (or its copycat Hunger Games) and you’ll get the picture. The game itself has 3 game modes: solo, duo and squads which consists of up to 4 players per team.

Now lets get down to the nitty gritty: is the game actually any good? Well to put it bluntly, it’s great! The way it makes every second as nail biting as the last is superb. No matter where you are on the map, there’s a part of you that knows an enemy could be around the corner. This is especially the case for high loot zones as a number of players will be frantically looking for loot at the beginning of every game. If you’re too late, you’ll more than likely die a miserable death after a mere few minutes after landing. The plane itself travels in a random direction in every game, which makes most landings different most games. This helps to give each game a different feel from the last. The fact that you can choose when to parachute out of plane adds to this too.

From the off you need a plan. Jumping early to a high loot zone right below the plane will see you fighting it out with plenty of other players, but the loot is more than worth the risk if you survive. You could always jump late and travel a good distance to a quieter part of the island where you’re almost guaranteed to be on your own, however the loot won’t be great and you risk being a distance from the circle when it spawns. Weapons are distributed randomly, but a decent weapon can get you so far.

Even after nearly 90 hours of gameplay, I’ve found myself in the last 10 without even firing a single bullet. Hiding from enemy players and quietly going about your business is a valid tactic for sure. Even when your steadily progressing, you always have a choice: you can stay around the edge of the force-field and wait for its next destination or you can risk it and go straight into battle. You may also find yourself stuck in a room from time to time, anxiously waiting it out, listening to every single sound around you and, dare I say it, on the floor below you! All of these various factors keeps you entertained without the feeling of repetition.

Image result for battlegrounds

Weapons are fun to use too, very well balanced , and you can feel a weight behind them. Also each weapon vary in rate of fire, and damage, and no 2 guns are the same.  You could go for short range guns such as the micro UZI, UMP and Shotguns to Assault rifles such as the AK or SCAR-L. Oh and don’t forgot long range guns like the Kar98 or AWM. And as said earlier each vary in damage. Damage also depends on the level of helmet equipped by the enemy. Level 1 being the weakest and level 3 being the best.

With the win percentage being so low, the hunt for victory leaves you addicted and hungry to go back. Winning a game gives you a huge satisfaction, something that is missing from so many games over the past 10 years.

The game isn’t perfect by any means: loot sometimes refuses to be picked up, annoying latency problems, and occasionally mushy textures can cause problems and prevent you from playing when in the plane or after launching out of it. Two issues which seem to have remained constant is the game not loading in time and game freezes for a small number of players. Thankfully, updates are coming out regularly which makes the £26 price tag seem worth it, especially considering most AAA publishers don’t even put this amount of effort into fixing their games’ issues. 

It’s no wonder that Battlegrounds has sold a ridiculous 4 million copies since its  release on Steam 3 months ago – breathing new life into the battle royale shooter genre, Player Unknown has provided a game that is equal parts exciting and anxiety provoking. It may not be a technically perfect game, glitches are common here, but the game does enough to alleviate any issues these might bring about. Overall, Battlegrounds can stand up proudly as an example of early access done right – a rare and valuable achievement. 






Best And Worst of E3 2017

By Jake Cordiner (@jjjjaketh) + Liam Menzies (@blnkclyr


Bethesda Were…There?


It’s hard to defend Bethesda’s conference: for every thing it did right (announcing sequels to both Wolfenstein and The Evil Within), it seemed to outdo any positives and call its own existence into question. The constant milking of Skyrim is something that’s become a bit of a joke in the gaming community and then there’s the whole mods debacle.

For those who aren’t aware, back in 2015, Bethesda announced they would be releasing mods that you would need to pay for – as you can imagine, this did not go down well at all. Their latest stab at this concept, titled Creation Club, is one that justifiably has a lot of fans worried due to charging people for content that is already free, something that has already been shown in the bloody trailer. Many gamers want creators of mods to be paid for their content but it seems somewhat scummy for a publisher to want to be the one to regulate that when there are currently programs in place (Patreon for example) that do the job better.

This on top of the fact only two games were announced that people cared about left people disappointed to say the least: worryingly, this will be a trend in this piece.

Ubisoft Swap Out Cringe for Quality


Ubisoft have a bad track record at E3 to say the least: constantly starring in E3 cringe compilations due to their attempts to be hip and cool, most who paid attention to them were more often than not just hoping to witness their new favourite laughably bad moment. That wasn’t the case this year though as the company *sharp inhale* made an effort. Granted, some of the games, most notably Assassin’s Creed Origins, just looked uninspired or dull but I’d be lying if there weren’t some gems that had people surprised.

A Mario – Rabbids crossover influenced by the X-Com games? Colour me interested. A pirate game that takes all the best elements of AC: Black Flag, allowing you to be the captain of your own ship? Count me in, matey. Motherfucking Beyond Good and Evil II being revealed (again) after being stuck in development hell for years and years? As the cockney swearing monkey in the trailer would say, I’m fucking in, govnah! With Far Cry 5 also looking like it’ll breathe new life into a series that is slowly stagnating, Ubisoft may have just done a complete u-turn in the public opinion (I give it a week till they screw up). 

Microsoft’s Catchphrase Bingo


Disclaimer: The Xbox conference was by no means a disaster. Showing off a heap of fun games, Microsoft may not have done enough to convert anyone hesitant about buying an Xbox One but they certainly reassured fans who were worried that their console was going through a gaming drought. Unfortunately, most of the conference had a bit of a ghost at the feat in the form of 4K raving. If you were to take a drink for every-time Phil Spencer and co. chucked a graphical bit of jargon or mention 60FPS then you would have passed out by the halfway point. Not only that but it all came off as fake, mainly due to Spencer’s own comments regarding frames per second. It left a sour taste in your mouth and lead to plenty of compilations detailing the repetitiveness of it. Better luck next year, eh?

Nintendo Is Back, Baby!

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The boys are back in town, motherfucker. Thanks for keeping the throne warm, everyone else, Nintendo will have it back now. They’ve killed it. New Metroid? Fuck it, have two. New Kirby? Right you are. New Yoshi? Step this way, sir. Fire Emblem? Check. Xenoblade Chronicles 2? Check. Rocket League? Check. Ever wondered what it would be like if Mario’s hat was sentient and could mind control literally anything? No? Fuck it. Wonder no more. We’ve done it. No fucking about from Reggie and the lads, they have won E3 after a number of lacklustre years. And lord above is it good to have them back.

Sony’s Golden Run End


Over the past few years, Sony has reigned as king, both in a gaming sense and especially at E3. So maybe it shouldn’t come as a surprise that a company as big as them would eventually lose momentum, showcasing games that weren’t necessarily bad but weren’t anything surprising, the only exception being a Shadow of the Colossus HD remake. While showing off game-play isn’t necessarily a bad move when showing off the things that make people want to buy your console, it was definitely underwhelming to know most of the games that had watchers salivating wouldn’t be coming out until an ambiguous date in 2018. It really says a lot about the Sony conference when people weren’t discussing what was on show, rather what wasn’t there: perhaps Gamescom will deliver some sort of Death Stranding or Last Of Us II news.





What We Want From This Year’s E3

By Adam Ouakli (@AdamOuakli)

It’s that time of year again, gamers! Yep, E3 is just around the corner and this year, it’s open to the public. With less than a week to go until the biggest event of the year on the gaming calendar, we got thinking about what exactly we want to see at this year’s show.

The event is set to run from June 13th to June 15th but before that, we are going to be treated to press conferences from the bigger companies on the days leading up to the event. Here are the times of the presentations:

Saturday 10th June

  • EA – 8pm GMT

Sunday 11th June

  • Bethesda – 5am GMT
  • Microsoft – 10pm GMT

Monday 12th June

  • Sony – 5am GMT
  • Ubisoft – 10pm GMT

Tuesday 13th June

  • Nintendo – 5pm GMT

With that out of the way, let’s see what these gaming juggernauts are set to reveal and what we want to see them announce:

Xbox Will Show Off The 4K Scorpio

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The showpiece of the weekend will inevitably be the Xbox Scorpio. No other company is revealing a new console and although we got a sneak peek at the Scorpio at last year’s E3, we expect to learn more about specs and hopefully get a release date. Microsoft has already shown us a snippet of what the console is capable of with a very short trailer of a new Forza game (which is likely to debut) but we want to see more. We want to see what its full capabilities are and what games will be released for it in glorious 4K. Perhaps Gears of War 5? Perhaps a new Halo game or re-master, perhaps not. Fans can dream.

Sony’s Main Focus Will Be On Games

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Sony will be going into E3 this year without any new hardware to reveal. This means that their focus will be almost entirely on game releases. We are expecting a whole heap of games to get excited about. We know about some of the titles we expect to be showcased already: Spider-Man, Days Gone, Detroit: Become Human and the highly anticipated sequel to what many consider to be one of the greatest games of all time; The Last of Us. A new God of War game would be quite nice too. Hopefully, we’ll see trailers or even gameplay for most if not all of these titles.

What Games Do We Want To See

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We can expect a Destiny 2 trailer and a Call of Duty WWII trailer. Fingers crossed that Activision will have some gameplay to show us from CoD WWII. If we’re lucky we might even get a sneak peek at some multiplayer.

Hideo Kojima’s Death Stranding will most likely make an appearance. We have already seen a short trailer of the game but we hope that there will be some new gameplay to show off.  After all who doesn’t want to see some more of Mads Mikkelsen and Guillermo del Toro?

Another game some of us desperately want an update on is the Final Fantasy VII remake that was announced at E3 back in 2015. It hasn’t been long since Final Fantasy XV was released but Square Enix cannot tease fans on such a matter. This is serious stuff. We want that FF7 remake and we want it now.

Some of the bigger announcements will be coming from the likes of EA, Ubisoft and (we hope) Bethesda.

EA will inevitably showcase its yearly football instalment FIFA 18. A new Need for Speed game will also most likely be showcased. EA’s most hyped unveiling will be Star Wars Battlefront 2. After a disappointing 2015 revamp of the old classic, from what we’ve seen already, the second instalment will include different generations, and, wait for it, single player. Finally. We weren’t asking for much.

Nintendo Will Have To Amp It Up This Year

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Nintendo will have to unveil a lot of exciting things this year to keep fans interested. It’s been just over 3 months since the Nintendo Switch was released, and fans are itching for new titles to be announced with a very limited line-up so far. We’re looking for new exclusive games like a new Mario game; in particular, we expect to hear more about Super Mario Odyssey. Fans of Nintendo will be hoping and praying that a new Metroid game will be unveiled. We’ll be holding our breath. We probably shouldn’t though.

E3 Disappointment For Pokémon Fans?

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Pokémon fans who are expecting a big announcement at E3 will probably be disappointed. Nintendo broadcast its yearly Pokémon Direct on Tuesday which promised a ‘big announcement’ which left fans wondering what it could be. Could it be a new game in the series for the switch? Could it be the rumoured Pokémon Stars after the release of Sun and Moon last year?

Wrong and Wrong. Two of the series’ classics, Pokemon Gold and Silver will be coming to the Virtual Console on the Nintendo 3DS store for download in September. Nostalgic? Yes. Exciting? Perhaps a little. Ground-breaking announcement? No.

We will be seeing two new Pokémon games, however. Announced along with Gold and Silver were two new additions to the 3DS: Pokémon Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon, featuring new story-lines and Pokémon but still set in Alola. Kind of like when Pokemon Black 2 and White 2 followed on from Black and White.

Oh yeah, Pokken Tournament is also coming to Switch. The Pokémon fighting game, until now only available in Japan, will be released on Nintendo Switch on September 22nd.

Nintendo’s presentation last year was a bit underwhelming despite showing off Zelda: Breath of the Wild so we’re hoping they do a bit better this year.

Ubisoft Will Show Off Some Big Titles

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Ubisoft could potentially steal the show this year in terms of unveiling new titles. A new Assassin’s Creed trailer or demo is expected along with a more detailed look at Far Cry 5 which looks like it could be the best Far Cry game to date. We’ve already been treated to a trailer of the new Far Cry but a better look at it and possibly some gameplay could make it one of the most exciting showcases of the weekend. Also, remember that South Park game that’s been shown off the past two years? You’d be forgiven for not due to the constant delays that The Fractured But Whole has recieved but with a firm 2017 release date, expect to see Ubisoft show a lot of gameplay off, or at least some sort of cinematic trailer. Let’s just forget that Mario-Rabbids crossover, okay?

Will Bethesda Deliver?

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From this year’s E3 I want one thing. One simple thing. I want an Elder Scrolls game. Prey is fine. Quake Champions is okay. They may announce a new Wolfenstein game, good. But what we all want is another Elder Scrolls game. Please, Bethesda?





Game Review: Friday The 13th (2017)

By Liam Menzies (@blnkclyr)

A heavy sense of dread filled every inch of my body. As I stood still in the room, haunting and chilling sounds echoed around, the sheer darkness engulfing the screen making everything far more fearful than I had anticipated. With one foul swoop, my misery was brought to an end after minutes of excruciating waiting, Jason’s face adorned on the screen.

Sadly, this wasn’t genuine gameplay from IllFonic’s Friday The 13th Game, rather the main menu that anyone unfortunate enough to play a game at launch was forced to endure for hours on end. The Kickstarter-funded project is one that has been eagerly anticipated by many with the infamous horror icon Jason Voorhees being part of gaming since the old NES days. Now, with updated graphics and such, a passionate team could finally make a solid Crystal Lake simulator that would be fun for both the masked killer and the teens unlucky enough to come across him. 

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Unfortunately, the end product feels more like a half-baked game than one worth the £30 it’s asking for. The first thing players will notice, that is if they can still get past the server issues that plague the game more than a week after launch, is just how off the game looks. Obviously, no one is expecting a beautiful game considering the game’s budget, £1 million is nothing compared to most AAA games that cost 100 times that, but it’s no excuse for how awful some of the characters look.

A notable one has to be Chad Kensington, one of the few characters that you’ll remember due to how laughably bad his animation is during the intro, his jaw wide open like he’s just discovered the slam tent at T In The Park. When a game is trying its very best to be a scary experience, it seems detrimental for the plastic models to take you out of the moment.

Graphics don’t make a game, though, so it’s worth inspecting the gameplay of Friday The 13th, one area where both the game’s best and worst elements lie. As you may expect, you get to jump into the sludgy, swamp water filled boots of Jason and take on the role to kill all the counsellors in a set amount of time.

The asymmetrical nature is one that should offer a fair amount of challenge while also making things fair though this isn’t usually the result. More often than not, counsellors will find themselves glitching onto trees or other objects (God knows why they didn’t include a jump button to help with traversal) while running away from Jason who, without a moment’s notice, can zoom right next to you and choke you to death or some other visceral way. While these moves are just as cheesy as they are gruesome, finding yourself cheated by the game makes it more enraging than it does entertaining.

Speaking of Jason though, IllFonic have done a good job in making a simulator of sorts. Your abilities don’t feel slapped on for the game’s sake, rather tieing in well with the subject matter, much like the aforementioned zoom mechanic which explains why the horror villain so often pops up everywhere both in game and film.

The most fun moments occur when Jason and the counsellors meet, usually with the latter stuck in a cabin while Jason waits eagerly outside. With headphones on, the chilling music and wonderful sound design applied to Jason’s movement and actions do evoke a great sense of dread that leave you wishing the game would do this regularly.


Sadly, you’ll find yourself rummaging through drawers more than you will running for your life which becomes rather monetonous. On top of this is just how downright buggy the game is: doors sometimes don’t close, windows often dissapear and perks nine times out of ten don’t work, making all those CP (the game’s currency) you spent pretty much worthless. One glitch occured during a game between friends where one player, after exiting a tent, ended up floating in the air and onto the huge house beside before twerking on top of it, leaving the Jason in the game frustrated. While it was hilarious, being on the receiving end isn’t and with the price being rather steep, it’s no wonder many are angry that they’re getting a game that isn’t complete.

On top of that, many have complained of Jason being overpowered and with games lasting up to 20 minutes, having to watch other players hide for 10 minutes in a cupboard never gets any less dull, something that could be negated with games being shorter, forcing players to hurry up with their escape plan while encouraging Jason to do his job more efficiently.

It wouldn’t be fair to say there’s been no effort put into Friday The 13th, rather the team have tried various things with mixed results rather than focusing on a few and getting them bang on. While it’s more out of necessity than choice, a private game with you and seven of your friends is undeniably fun if you make sure to focus on having a laugh than genuine horror but that would only really pass if the game were free. Unfortunately, that’s not the case and as it stands, Friday The 13th is a confused mess that’s few glimmers of real, scary fun can’t help to iron out its flaws.






TOP 5: Scariest Video Games Of All Time

By Liam Menzies (@blinkclyro)

While horror films are all well and good at sending shivers down your spine, there’s a certain edge video-games have always had over them: interactivity. When you’re watching a movie and it’s all getting too much, just covering your eyes with your hand is enough to help make you feel somewhat safe. Pick up a controller and stick on a horror game however and you’ve got no other option but to traverse and encounter whatever hellish environments and creatures it has to throw at you, less you find yourself stuck in the same place for all eternity. What follows is a list of games that not only gives Hollywood a run for its money but solidifies gaming as the one stop shop for proper horrifying entertainment: readers beware, you’re in for a scare.

(And remember, if there’s a game you find terrifying that isn’t included then tweet me @blinkclyro and I’ll consider doing a reader feedback follow up piece)

Silent Hill 2


Let’s start things off with a PS2 classic that has stood the test of time. Despite the series having several hit or miss sequels as well as having its own abysmal big screen adaptation; Konami’s sophomore effort was its pinnacle, managing to combine great storytelling with even better character design. As you find yourself walking anxiously through the titular town as James Sunderland, arriving there in search of his deceased wife, you’ll find yourself dreading every step through the mist infested location. Featuring undoubtedly one of the creepiest video game villains of all time in the form of Pyramid Head, no need to imagine he’s exactly what you think he looks like, as well as some devilishly tricky puzzles, it’s ironic how much you’ll love spending time in a town full of such horrors.

I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream


While by no means recent, having been released back in 1995 almost 30 years after the short story that it is based on was published, I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream manages to create fear in the same way shows like The Twilight Zone mastered all those years ago. Following the tale of the last five humans on earth being punished by a self-aware super computer, the horrific torture and subsequent attempt to escape manages to flood with dread from every pore. Touching on subjects like rape, insanity, paranoia and genocide, the evil and good choices you are able to make adds another layer of horror to this already petrifying old school gem.

Dead Space


In space no one can hear you scream though anyone unfortunate to be living with you will once you play Dead Space. Set in, surprise surprise, space, you take on the role of ships engineer Isaac Clarke who is sent in to investigate a distress signal on the USG Ishimura with his crew. As things go to shit from 0-100, you’re left to fight your way through the ship against some of the most ghastly monsters you’ll ever come across, who have a nice tendency to rip your limbs off, as well as finding audio logs along the way that shed light on the dark and menacing history of the Ishimura prior to your arrival. Developed by Visceral Games, the death animations are aptly gory and will be sure to etch themselves into your nightmares, as will every waking second the decent sized campaign will offer.



Going now from the heights of space to the deep trenches of the sea, Bioshock starts off mysterious and never stops making you second guess. Taking place in the underwater city of Rapture, you find yourself arriving a bit late to the party as everything has, to put it simply, gone to shit. The once prosperous utopia has become a grizzly bloodbath with the inhabitants becoming deranged and you unfortunately finding yourself in their way. Despite being granted superhuman abilities thanks to ADAM, a substance which scattered audio logs will inform you about, you never feel truly safe in Rapture, especially not after your first encounter with a Big Daddy. A huge hulking creature with a massive drill for an arm, you can either build up the courage to fight or, sensibly, flee. Crying while doing so is optional but recommended.

Until Dawn


To finish things off we have a 2015 surprise hit going by the name of Until Dawn. Essentially a choose your adventure style game but with a horror twist, Until Dawn is full of all the tropes and clichés you’ve came to love from your favourite slasher films which all manage to cross the line between tribute and knock off. With every choice you make affecting the chemistry between characters, all tremendously performed by some top class actors such as Mr Robot’s Rami Malek, you can very well end up finishing the game with every character six feet under. Quick reaction times, good intuition and a lot of courage is what will help you conquer what these snow drenched mountains are packing.





Best And Worst Of E3 2016

What can only be described as “Christmas for gamers”, this year’s Electronic Entertainment Expo, better known as E3, took place in its home of LA. While leaks were abundant before and even during the event, nearly every conference managed to surprise the audience in attendance and so, here are the high and low points of the event.

Crash is back!

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You may remember in a piece that I done on my fond memories with the Playstation about my love of Naughty Dog’s fuzzy orange platformer series Crash Bandicoot, a franchise that many to this day claim is one of the best they’ve played due to how god damn fun it is. After having its name tarnished by other companies via multiple meh follow ups, we now have Sony and Activision working together to remake the original trilogy all from the ground up: that means all the levels that you grew up with in stunning 1080p! This was immediately followed up with the announcement that Crash would be featuring in Skylanders which was applauded by…two people.

EA Play It Too Safe

It’s a pretty ballsy move to host your own event the same weekend as E3 so props to EA for having the confidence to do so. However, they did not have nearly enough to justify doing so as we had another conference dominated by sports games, very little new info about Mass Effect Andromeda and Star Wars details that were limited to “yes this exists” and little else. There were also an abundance of celebrities having a large multiplayer live stream and about two of them seemed happy to be there, way to get people excited about your game, and if it weren’t for Battlefield One’s presence then EA’s conference would have been outright bad, not Konami 2010 bad but bad nonetheless.

Colossal Showing

Last year Sony were praised for their power of resurrection as they showed off Team Ico’s The Last Guardian, a game that for years suffered delay after delay and many assumed was gone for good. They followed it up this year by not only giving us a beautiful and endearing trailer but a release date! Yes! It’s happening people! Everybody stay fucking calm! The fact that we have had to wait so many years for Sony to announce that the game is only four months away from release was a wise move indeed and could have very well clinched them the title of best conference of E3 in the eyes of many.

Worst. Commentary. Ever.

Ubisoft have a bad rep for making their games seem unusually “too good to be true” with Watch Dogs being a class example of this. Much like what happened last year with Rainbow Six Siege, the new Ghost Recon entry Wildlands was accompanied by an offensively fake commentary that was borderline laughable at points. While the actual game looks solid, I wouldn’t blame the majority of people who have seen the gameplay to have it on mute for its duration.

Microsoft Go In Hard…

Xbox One E3 2016

With Microsoft and Sony losing out on the E3 Crown last year due to newcomers Bethesda blowing them away, both went in knowing that they had to put on a great show to leave gamers ecstatic. First up was Microsoft and they hit out with some pretty big announcements: You want a new Xbox One model? Here, have one and here’s another more powerful one on its way? Want a follow up to a beloved franchise? Here, have Forza Horizon 3 and Dead Rising 4. While it’s not their best conference ever, Microsoft managed to put on a pretty solid event. However…

But Stumble At The Last Hurdle

The conference didn’t go without a few flat notes. Recore, a game that has amassed a fair amount of hype, did little to justify it, showing off a trailer with little gameplay and not much else to get excited about. There were also moments that felt unnecessary like the grand reveal of The Division DLC which would have been better spent on a new IP or really anything else that wasn’t The Division. While it all sounds a bit nit picky, it was a few things like this that stopped the conference from being a true winner.

Sony Steal The Show

Call me bias all you want but Sony put on one hell of a show! Where to start? How about Days Gone, a game that seems to blend the huge zombie crowds of Dead Rising, the heart and emotional impact of The Last Of Us as well as some badass biker gameplay a la Sons Of Anarchy. How about the new God Of War entry that will delve into Norse mythology as well giving a typically stern, rage fueled charter like Kratos a bit of depth by teaming up with his son? Then there’s the tease at the new Playstation exclusive Kojima game that looks just as weird as you might think, a PS4 exclusive Spiderman game by the creators of Ratchet and Clank as well as showing off Resident Evil 7 in VR which is giving off those PT vibes big time. The only gripe I can think of is the VR aspect though little time was spent on it so again, it’s just a nitpick. If there’s ever been a better time to buy a PS4, it’s now.

-Liam Menzies