On A Lighter Note: The Funniest Simpsons Moments (Part 2)

By Liam Menzies (@blinkclyro)

As bloggers will argue night and day about what is the best program ever to be aired on television, it’s likely that The Simpsons will be missed out in favour of your Game Of Thrones and Breaking Bad though that shouldn’t be the case. While animation tends to get the cold shoulder when it comes to serious recognition, there aren’t many programs like Matt Groening’s yellow cult classic hit.

Back in July, I touched on all the times the show left us a little bit teary eyed though it’s the moments that left us clutching at our sides, bursting with laughter that we all tend to remember most fondly when thinking about one of the longest-running sitcoms on television. Seeing as part one was so well received, it’s time to do what Hollywood does best and make an unnecessary sequel: without further ado, let’s do it!

Lawyer: Robert, if released, would you pose any threat to one Bart Simpson?
Sideshow Bob: Bart Simpson? The spirited little scamp who twice foiled my evil schemes and sent me to this dank, urine-soaked hellhole?”
Jail Representative: Uh, we object to the term “urine-soaked hellhole”, when you could have said “pee-pee soaked heckhole.”  – CAPE FEARE (S5,E2)


Homer: Guys are always patting my bald head for luck, pinching my belly to hear my girlish laugh.
Marge: Hmm, that doesn’t sound like they like you at all.
Homer: You know, I think you’re right. First thing tomorrow morning, I’m gonna punch Lenny in the back of the head!
– Last Exit To Springfield (S4,E7)

Announcer: Attention, Marge Simpson, your son has been arrested.
Woman: I’d be terribly embarrassed if I were that boy’s mother.
Announcer: Attention, Marge Simpson, we have also arrested your older, balder, fatter son.
– Itchy & Scratchy Land (S6, E4)


Mr Burns: Now I have no one to leave my enormous fortune to. No one.
Smithers: Ahem —
Burns: You, Smithers? Oh no, my dear friend. I’ve planned a far greater reward for you. When I pass on, you shall be buried alive with me. 
Smithers: Oh…goody.

– Burn’s Heir (S5,E18)

– Treehouse of Horror III (S4,E5)

Lisa: Don’t you people see anything wrong what Malibu Stacy says?
Celeste: There’s something wrong with what my Stacy says.
Malibu Stacy: [in a low voice] My spidey sense is tingling — anybody call for a web-slinger? Lisa vs Malibu Stacy (S5,E3)

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Lionel Hutz: Now don’t you worry, Mrs. Simpson, I– Uh-oh. We’ve drawn Judge Snyder.
Marge: Is that bad?
Lionel Hutz: Well, he’s had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog.
Marge: You did?
Lionel Hutz: Well, replace the word “kinda” with the word “repeatedly”, and the word “dog” with “son.”
– Marge In Chains (S4,E21)

Hans: You’re certainly doing your job today, Mr. Sun. Oh rats.
Bart of Darkness (S6,E1)

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Mr Burns: If it’s a crime to love one’s country, then I’m guilty. And if it’s a crime to steal a trillion dollars from our government, and hand it over to communist Cuba, then I’m guilty of that too. And if it’s a crime to bribe a jury, then so help me, I’ll soon be guilty of that.
– The Trouble With Trillions (S9,E22)


Marge: Why don’t you take this potato? It’s pretty big.
Bart: Mom, you’re always trying to give me potatoes. What is it with you?
Marge: I just think they’re neat.
Sweet Seymour Skinner’s Baadasssss Song (S5,E19)

– Secrets of a Successful Marriage (S5,E22)


Marge: How’s your father’s project coming along?
Bart: I think he’s almost done. Yeah, he’s done.
– Mom And Pop Art (S10,E19)

Mr. Burns: Men, there’s a little crippled boy sitting in a hospital who wants you to win this game. I know because I crippled him myself to inspire you.
Milhouse: (to his mom and dad) I hope they win, or Mr. Burns said he’s coming back.
Homer Loves Flanders (S5,E17)

Image result for barney drinking varnish

Barney: Man, you’d never get me into a ring. Boxing causes brain damage.
The Homer They Fall (S8,E3)


Moe: Them immiggants. They want all the benefits of living in Springfield, but they ain’t even bothered to learn themself the language.
Much Apu About Nothing (S7,E23)

– Last Exit To Springfield (S4,E17)





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Editor of blinkclyro.com . Wine, meme and vinyl connoisseur who hums Born Slippy far too often. Veggie wank🌱

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